Dr. Tian Dayton On Emotional Sobriety
According to Dr. Dayton, emotions are processed by the limbic brain system- our “emotional brain”. Our cortex- "thinking brain", tends to shut down when we get scared but our emotional or limbic brain keeps operating. The emotional "animal" brain takes over. In this moment we can lose our ability think clearly, to reflect on and make sense out of what we're feeling. It's nature's way of keeping protecting us by switching into survival mode.
The child is dependent on their parent to act as an external regulator because their internal regulators aren't fully developed until they are twelve or so. The small child is particularly vulnerable to emotional and psychological damage when the home is chaotic. If the parent is a victimizer or abuser, the child also loses access to their source of comfort and regulation.
Dr. Dayton believes if we didn't learn adequate skills of self regulation in childhood, we can learn them in adulthood. It is something we can train ourselves to do.
Dayton believes, to inscribe new hardwiring into our neural networks we must do more than just talk. We need to spend time in the presence of others who are experiencing balance and pleasure in their lives. To heal, we need to develop new relationships and learn the skills of limbic regulation in therapy, hobby groups, faith institutions, twelve step rooms and healthy lifestyle activities.
To use a "Dog Whisperer" analogy, we need to become part of a balanced pack. Then we learn to become balanced.
For more info. visit emotionalsobriety.info and tiandayton.com
Check out the Orange County ACA website at: Orange County Adult Children
Monday, July 20, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Michael Jackson- ACA
Raised by an abusive father who demanded perfection, Michael Jackson grew up to become one the world's most popular dysfunctional people. His story and tragic death, allegedly brought on by drug abuse, illustrates how untreated personal issues can grow from hidden pain to eventually become an "unmanageable" life and a shortened life span.
Michael's pathology became visible when he began engaging in bizarre behaviors, including multiple cosmetic surgeries and short lived "marriages". Things continued to snowball with strange on camera antics, accusations of child molestation and finally, reported drug abuse.
It is not known if MJ ever sought help for his troubles. He was, as many rich and famous are, surrounded by sycophants and those who's very livelihood depends on not challenging the status quo. If Michael's family tried to intervene, they were not successful. Judging by the end result, MJ didn't find a workable answer.
Perhaps he had isolated himself so deeply in a cocoon of denial, drugs and an entourage of protectors, he never had to face reality. If Michael wasn't able to take the first step and come out of his self imposed isolation, ACA recovery was an impossibility.
The lesson here is that no matter who you are, how much money or fame you have, the first step to getting badly needed help is still "coming out of isolation".
Rest in peace, Michael.
Check out the Orange County ACA website at: Orange County Adult Children
Monday, June 22, 2009
Meditation
Loving Kindness Meditation (3 Min.):
Many people know that the 11th Step encourages us to "improve our conscious contact" with our higher power. With today's hectic schedules, hours and days can quickly rush by before we realize we have been neglecting ourselves and haven't taken the time to meditate.
Here is a "mindfulness" website that may help. It offers free, guided meditations you can participate in, even right from your computer!
MARC- the "Mindful Awareness Research Center" is part of UCLA's Semel Institute. The MARC site offers FREE, downloadable meditations you can enjoy anytime. Click here to check them out:
MARC Meditations
There are many choices including a breathing meditation, loving kindness meditation and meditation for working with difficulties. They range in length from a quick, 3 minute pick-me-up to a deep, 19 minute complete meditation.
MARC even offers a free "mindfulness clock" widget for your desktop that gently reminds you that it's time to meditate.
MARC sites an "increasing sense of pressure, complexity and information overload" in our society as a major contributor to stress, health problems and diseases.
Mindful awareness "invites us to stop, breathe, observe, and connect with one's inner experience. There are many ways to bring mindfulness into one's life, such as meditation, yoga, art, or time in nature."
Research has shown meditation helps "lower blood pressure and boost the immune system; increase attention and focus, including aid those suffering from ADHD; help with difficult mental states such as anxiety and depression, fostering well-being and less emotional reactivity; and thicken the brain in areas in charge of decision making, emotional flexibility, and empathy."
Check out the Orange County ACA website at: Orange County Adult Children
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Addicted To Serotonin
Serotonin and dopamine are the "feel good" substances secreted by your brain. Even though you only have about 10 milligrams of serotonin, it is involved in many body processes including appetite, sleep, mood, memory, learning, endocrine regulation, smooth muscle contractions, migraine headaches, etc.
Serotonin is boosted by certain foods and activities. It has been noted that addicts in recovery and PMS sufferers, tend to binge on sugary, high carb foods. Abstaining addicts often turn to the heavy consumption of carbohydrates as a means of attempting to redress the neurotransmitter imbalances at the heart of their disorder. Some addicts may discover early in life that carbohydrate-rich foods are their drug of choice.
In one study, rats were injected with nicotine until they became dependent or hooked on the drug. The injections were then suddenly withdrawn and the rats chose sweetened food over regular food--a complete reversal of the food preference they had previously shown.
Scientists have managed to record a rise in dopamine levels in lab rats simply by cueing the rats to anticipate a pleasurable event--food, sex, sweet drinks. You could condition the rats to a ringing bell before dinner, and soon the rats would be showing elevated dopamine levels at the sound of the bell only--with no reward at all. Anticipation of reward is all it takes.
If you give a male rat a good close look at a suitable female through a mesh panel, the male rat’s dopamine levels willl surge, presumably in anticipation of possible carnal pleasures. Dopamine levels would spike even higher, of course, once the divider was removed.
Serotonin/dopamine dysfunctions cause physical and mental discomfort including anxiety and panic. This is known as “spiraling distress”—which continues to occur even in the complete absence of the addictive drug.
Many addicts with alcoholic relatives report that they have experienced substitute addictions and multiple addictions repeatedly—and sometimes, these substitutions and additions center on food.
Check out the Orange County ACA website at: Orange County Adult Children
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Penn & Teller Are Full Of Bull
Disclaimer: Display of these videos is in no way an endorsement of their contents:
I recently came across Penn & Teller's attempt to dubunk the 12 Step process. Yes, THAT Penn & Teller- the team of two contrasting magicians (the little guy who is silent and the big guy who won't shut up.) These "12-Stepping" videos are part of their "Bullsh*t!" Showtime series and have surfaced on Youtube.
While I'm up for open debate, the "logic" and methods P&T use to assert their points are flawed to say the least. Much of their argument seems based more on manipulation than persuasion.
As P & T point out, the sheer number of different 12 Step programs available is overwhelming. The massive need for help from addiction cannot be argued. P & T assert that 12 Step programs are unscientific and question their effectiveness. But the evidence presented by P & T against The 12 Steps is far from scientific. They give only anecdotal evidence, personal opinion, brief excerpts from a twenty year old survey and skewed logic in making their case.
The calculated use of the word "cult" by Penn & Teller here is to ostracize and stigmatize anyone in, or considering joining, a 12 step group. It's an attempt to associate 12 Step programs with some insane dogma or radically dangerous religious fascism, ala David Koresh or Jim Jones. A cheap shot that is all too transparent. Especially after P & T accuse 12 Step programs of using shame and preying on the weakness of others.
As people from dysfunctional families are well aware, shame can be a powerful weapon. It is often used to try and control and influence by fear. And to silence those who may object or hold a differing opinion from those in power. When the merits of an argument can't stand on their own and open debate cannot be tolerated, shame and fear are convenient tools to keep alternate opinions subdued and unexpressed. These tactics are often used by truly radical cult leaders to keep their members in line. By lampooning the 12 Steps and ridiculing those who endorse and use them, P & T are using THE VERY METHOD they rail against- authoritarian, shame based coercion.
One definition of "cult" is "a cohesive social group and their devotional beliefs or practices, which the surrounding population considers to be outside of mainstream cultures." -Wikipedia. That's a pretty broad brush. Under that wide definition many groups including The Boy Scouts, surfers, lesbians and yes, even MAGICIANS can be considered members of cults.
P & T claim alcoholism is not a disease. I won't pretend to be able to divine THE definitive answer but PTSD, Addiction and Trauma all cause mental and physical afflictions. And yes, addiction does have a genetic component. Addicts and their offspring have a lack of dopamine receptors in their brains. This has been scientifically documented. A physical limitation like this cannot be changed with willpower.
The 12 Steps does not claim there is A monolithic, specific God. For me, belief in a Higher Power simply means I recognize the reality that I am not the most powerful thing in this universe. There are many, much more powerful sources than myself at work. One need only to look up at the sun to see proof of this. I open myself up to the possibility that a greater power does exist and can help me.
Penn & Teller claim the success rate of Alcoholics Anonymous to be 5% based on decades old information. But they fail to offer any statistics on the success rate of alternative "SOS" or "Assisted Recovery" programs that they tout on their video. Nor do they offer any opposing opinions on these treatments. Their entire argument against the 12 Steps seems to lie somewhere between unbalanced manipulation and outright propaganda. But then slight of hand, mental or otherwise, is what they do.
Penn and Teller themselves may actually suffer from an addiction to excitement, as many do. This could easily take the form of craving the spotlight of the stage and espousing controversial points of view for the accompanying adrenaline rush that comes with the inevitable confrontations to follow.
The 12 Step programs I am familiar with recognize that everyone is different and suggest that people explore to find what works for them. This viewpoint is so widespread in The 12 Steps that, "Take What You Want And Leave The Rest" has become an adage almost as popular as "One Day At A Time" or "Easy Does It". Perhaps P & T should heed this advice.
There is a long list of people that credit the 12 Steps with helping them. So far, the number of addicts that Penn & Teller have successfully treated remains at zero. According to their website, P & T are "confirmed skeptics and pro-science atheists (they refer to God as "an imaginary friend").
Far from being unbiased, P & T are using this platform to promote THEIR atheistic agenda and beliefs under the guise of having a mission to "expose the truth to an otherwise desperate and gullible public." This is the same approach that they accuse 12 Step Programs of using- an agenda based recruitment for the desperate and gullible.
Assuming you're not too gullible, ask yourself if you've found more value and truth in these videos or in your local 12 Step meeting. I already know my answer.
In the end, these two stage hucksters are no more qualified to explain addiction, cults, 12 step programs and other things they admittedly know little about than I am at stepping onstage and pretending I can pull rabbits out of hats.
Thanks for listening,
C
(note: Post publication of this article, the Penn & Teller videos referenced above were yanked from Youtube. Apparently the right holders want you to pay to have the wool pulled over your eyes.)
Check out the Orange County ACA website at: Orange County Adult Children
I recently came across Penn & Teller's attempt to dubunk the 12 Step process. Yes, THAT Penn & Teller- the team of two contrasting magicians (the little guy who is silent and the big guy who won't shut up.) These "12-Stepping" videos are part of their "Bullsh*t!" Showtime series and have surfaced on Youtube.
While I'm up for open debate, the "logic" and methods P&T use to assert their points are flawed to say the least. Much of their argument seems based more on manipulation than persuasion.
As P & T point out, the sheer number of different 12 Step programs available is overwhelming. The massive need for help from addiction cannot be argued. P & T assert that 12 Step programs are unscientific and question their effectiveness. But the evidence presented by P & T against The 12 Steps is far from scientific. They give only anecdotal evidence, personal opinion, brief excerpts from a twenty year old survey and skewed logic in making their case.
The calculated use of the word "cult" by Penn & Teller here is to ostracize and stigmatize anyone in, or considering joining, a 12 step group. It's an attempt to associate 12 Step programs with some insane dogma or radically dangerous religious fascism, ala David Koresh or Jim Jones. A cheap shot that is all too transparent. Especially after P & T accuse 12 Step programs of using shame and preying on the weakness of others.
As people from dysfunctional families are well aware, shame can be a powerful weapon. It is often used to try and control and influence by fear. And to silence those who may object or hold a differing opinion from those in power. When the merits of an argument can't stand on their own and open debate cannot be tolerated, shame and fear are convenient tools to keep alternate opinions subdued and unexpressed. These tactics are often used by truly radical cult leaders to keep their members in line. By lampooning the 12 Steps and ridiculing those who endorse and use them, P & T are using THE VERY METHOD they rail against- authoritarian, shame based coercion.
One definition of "cult" is "a cohesive social group and their devotional beliefs or practices, which the surrounding population considers to be outside of mainstream cultures." -Wikipedia. That's a pretty broad brush. Under that wide definition many groups including The Boy Scouts, surfers, lesbians and yes, even MAGICIANS can be considered members of cults.
P & T claim alcoholism is not a disease. I won't pretend to be able to divine THE definitive answer but PTSD, Addiction and Trauma all cause mental and physical afflictions. And yes, addiction does have a genetic component. Addicts and their offspring have a lack of dopamine receptors in their brains. This has been scientifically documented. A physical limitation like this cannot be changed with willpower.
The 12 Steps does not claim there is A monolithic, specific God. For me, belief in a Higher Power simply means I recognize the reality that I am not the most powerful thing in this universe. There are many, much more powerful sources than myself at work. One need only to look up at the sun to see proof of this. I open myself up to the possibility that a greater power does exist and can help me.
Penn & Teller claim the success rate of Alcoholics Anonymous to be 5% based on decades old information. But they fail to offer any statistics on the success rate of alternative "SOS" or "Assisted Recovery" programs that they tout on their video. Nor do they offer any opposing opinions on these treatments. Their entire argument against the 12 Steps seems to lie somewhere between unbalanced manipulation and outright propaganda. But then slight of hand, mental or otherwise, is what they do.
Penn and Teller themselves may actually suffer from an addiction to excitement, as many do. This could easily take the form of craving the spotlight of the stage and espousing controversial points of view for the accompanying adrenaline rush that comes with the inevitable confrontations to follow.
The 12 Step programs I am familiar with recognize that everyone is different and suggest that people explore to find what works for them. This viewpoint is so widespread in The 12 Steps that, "Take What You Want And Leave The Rest" has become an adage almost as popular as "One Day At A Time" or "Easy Does It". Perhaps P & T should heed this advice.
There is a long list of people that credit the 12 Steps with helping them. So far, the number of addicts that Penn & Teller have successfully treated remains at zero. According to their website, P & T are "confirmed skeptics and pro-science atheists (they refer to God as "an imaginary friend").
Far from being unbiased, P & T are using this platform to promote THEIR atheistic agenda and beliefs under the guise of having a mission to "expose the truth to an otherwise desperate and gullible public." This is the same approach that they accuse 12 Step Programs of using- an agenda based recruitment for the desperate and gullible.
Assuming you're not too gullible, ask yourself if you've found more value and truth in these videos or in your local 12 Step meeting. I already know my answer.
In the end, these two stage hucksters are no more qualified to explain addiction, cults, 12 step programs and other things they admittedly know little about than I am at stepping onstage and pretending I can pull rabbits out of hats.
Thanks for listening,
C
(note: Post publication of this article, the Penn & Teller videos referenced above were yanked from Youtube. Apparently the right holders want you to pay to have the wool pulled over your eyes.)
Check out the Orange County ACA website at: Orange County Adult Children
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