Tuesday, December 23, 2008

When Life Hurts

When the hurts received from others
reaches a point where people actually
react to them, an amazingly curious thing
happens: they reveal what/who is most
loved, prized or precious to them:

it will be the thing/person they turn
against and take it out on.

As a child it might manifest as tearing
legs, arms and head off most fav doll, or
trashing a prize airplane model, or
maiming or hurting a beloved pet; in
adulthood it might be destroying a loved
tool or appliance, attack & hurt the loved
one, or push the loved one away harder and
harder, or run as far away as possible.

They attack, destroy, damage, maim, hurt
or leave exactly those things or people
most precious & loved to them.

Only later, when all the demolition and
carnage is done, do they take stock and
fully come to realize, not just what
they've done, but what they've lost.

And this has been known for ages -
there's a song about it that people have
known for years: "You always hurt the one
you love".

And the pain will grow, and the hurt will
grow, and the guilt will grow, and the
self-hatred, self-loathing and self-disgust
will grow.

And rage will build. This is the point at
which healing/recovery can begin -
because that is when people are ready - or
can be.

Check out the Orange County ACA website at: Orange County Adult Children

Monday, December 8, 2008

Oysters And Pearls

There is something of value to be found even in the worst of things. Consider the oyster. When a grain of sand penetrates an oyster's shell, it irritates the oyster, making it uncomfortable. The oyster relieves the pain by coating the sand with a soothing liquid. When this liquid hardens, a pearl is formed. The very process that healed the oyster creates a precious jewel for others
to cherish and admire.

The way in which we deal with our own frustrations - painful though they may be - can make a difference. Pearls can be formed from our experiences, making us wiser and stronger, or grains of sand - anger, bitterness, resentment--can remain imbedded inside us. The choice is ours.

How can I turn my irritations into pearls today?


Check out the Orange County ACA website at: Orange County Adult Children