Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Struggling To Keep Everyone Happy
I heard it said the other day, "'no' is a complete sentence". The point being that you do not have to explain or make others understand why you can't or don't want to do something. Often, codependency dictates that we make it alright and try to soothe disappointed feelings when we cannot live up to others' expectations.
In fact, "emotional vampires" may use our willingness to please to take advantage of us. They seek to have power and control over us. And as soon as we feel the need to explain, they have it. Saying "no" and just "no" can be difficult and stressful for people pleasers. We hate the thought of hurting other people's feelings or letting them down. But true friends will understand and those who don't are not worthy of our friendship.
Adult Children Of Alcoholics may fear the awkward silence after we have just given a negative response and be tempted to fill it with explanations and regrets. But if we just let it be, things will be ok.
Check out the Orange County ACA website at: Orange County Adult Children
Posted by C at 5:26 PM