Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Letting Go Of The Past

"We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses."
~Carl Jung

Reprinted from:

The process for letting go of a childhood where a person had one or more alcoholic parents varies from person to person. Some individuals bounce back with a resilience that seems to come from nowhere. Others require professional help getting over the past.

It can be done. Having a childhood with one or more alcoholic parents does not doom you to a lifetime of emotional distance and confusing emotions being triggered at every turn. The goal of realizing all the possible consequences of such a childhood is not to foster a feeling of powerlessness but of hope. It is in the awareness of the underlying mechanisms of dysfunction that it can be undone.

Silence was a large part of the problem for children who grew up in an alcoholic home. Feelings were not expressed. They were covered up by alcohol and then buried in shame and fear. It is in the uncovering and open recognition of these feelings that truths of the past can be spoken.

When these truths are spoken, they lose their power. Their power resides in their silence, in the shame and fear that protect them. Their power can be taken away. A painful past can be healed. Looking at what was wrong with the past helps you to realize what must be done to make the present right.

Check out the Orange County ACA website at: Orange County Adult Children

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Lose their power? Power taken away? Painful past healed? Maybe. I have been in ACA 21 years this November. I agree that the pain can be minimized and the past can be transformed. The power of the past can be limited. However in my experience its like hard wiring in a device. Or a better analogy that works for me is like a "diabetic" who needs daily insulin to keep stable. ACA and hospitalization and recovery in general has been a way to manage and facilitate a loving inner parent. But its work. What comes naturally to many is work for me. There are benefits a "normy" wouldnt experience of course, but the fact FOR ME is that eliminating the past as a painful memory entirely is futile and part of the problem. The solution for me is maintaining that loving connection to self and God.