Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Counter Dependency And The Flight From Intimacy

Drs. Barry and Janae Weinhold have some revealing thoughts about early trauma and the dysfunction that continues long after.

"Counterdependency" is a set of adult behaviors that are caused by developmental trauma between the ages of 9 and 36 months. This trauma often involves emotional abuse such as shaming and physical abuse such as spanking. This abuse affects people’s ability to trust.

Counterdependency is often described as the flip side of co-dependency. Rather than clinging, people avoid relationships and flee from intimacy. People with counterdependency often pair up with partners who struggle with codependency issues.

Symptoms of Counterdependency

The most common symptom of counterdependency is the avoidance of intimacy in close relationships.

Here are some other common symptoms.

• Difficulty being close to others
• A strong need to be right – all the time
• Self-centered and egotistical
• Refuses to ask for help
• Expects perfection in self and others
• Seldom appears vulnerable or weak
• Has difficulty relaxing
• Addictions to “upper” activities such as work & exercise, and substances such as caffeine, speed, meth & coke

See more videos from The Weinholds here: Flight From Intimacy

Check out the Orange County ACA website at: Orange County Adult Children

1 comment:

Counter-Dependence and Co-Dependence said...

Explaining counter-dependency as the flip-side to co-dependency is an excellent way to explain the disorder. I imagine many of us see our own personal characteristics present in the list you shared! The characteristic that seems to be the main qualifier of a counter-dependent personality would be avoidance of intimacy.

Thank you for the link to the videos---I will check those out.